Gone
by writtinggirl
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if Bella had not survived giving birth to Renesmee? What would happen to Edward? Would he want to be killed? Or is there a way that he could somehow find love again? Its all told in this story. Told in EPOV.
1. Alone

I handed Renesmee to Rosalie and focused back on Bella. She was so very still. I wished that she would give of movement, a sign that she was alright. "Carlisle!" I said. He was immediately by my side.

"Has anything changed?" Carlisle asked.

"No. Nothing. No sign of movement or progress at all." I replied.

"Edward, would you like me to watch over her for a little bit while you go see you daughter?" He asked

"No. I'm not leaving her side." I replied quickly. I would never leave Bella. She has to recover. I know she will.

"Son, I'm getting a little worried. It's been two days and I expected her to be awake by now. Can I take a look at her?" He said.

I stepped aside and let Carlisle examine Bella. She looked so beautiful and peaceful lying there, so still. Carlisle studied her and turned back to me. He had an anxious look on his face.

"Edward, she doesn't have a heartbeat anymore. I'm so sorry to say that I don't believe that she will ever recover. She hasn't survived giving birth and changing into one of us. It was too much for her body to handle." He said. His expression was serious. There was no doubt on his face. Everything he said was true.

I looked at her. This couldn't be happening. This isn't possible. Is Bella really dead? I slowly kissed her head.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I truly didn't expect this." Carlisle faced me sadly. "Time of death: 11:31 a.m." He murmured to himself.

I was lost and silent. I could not believe what happened. Suddenly, all the horrifying images of the pregnancy went through my head. Bella had looked so sick. How could I have even believed that she would have survived this? I hate myself. I should have done more.

I would never be able to live another day knowing what I had done. I did this to her. I could have done more but I didn't. I looked at her. She was lying there so peacefully.

"I will go tell the news to the others. I will give you some time alone with her Edward". Carlisle said to me.

I went to stand next to her and held her hand. "I'm so sorry, love." I said. I remembered how much she loved Renesmee and felt miserable with the though that Bella will never have the chance to see Renesmee. "I love you and so does Renesmee." I kissed her icy lips and I slowly walked out of the room. I cannot live any longer knowing that Bella died. I had to find Jacob. I knew that he would help me.

**Sorry that this chapter was pretty short and sad. It will get better. Please Review!! **


	2. Hopeless

As I went downstairs, everyone was watching me. They knew how hard every second that I have to live through is for me. They all knew that I would not be able to live with this.

Carlisle and Esme gave me an apologetic expression. They wanted to come up to me and comfort me but they knew that it wouldn't help.

Emmett looked confused. Just like me, he couldn't believe how fast all of this happened. Bella was still sitting in the sofa yesterday and today, she is gone.

Jasper and Alice looked worried. They knew exactly how hard this is for me, but they were extremely worried about what I was going to do now. They were afraid that I would do the same as I did when I though Bella had jumped of a cliff; go to the Volturi and ask them to end my life. I know that Jasper was really tying his best to make everyone relax but it didn't work, not this time. I was sure that I would never be able to feel happy ever again.

Rosalie was holding Renesmee. Renesmee was so gorgeous, just like her mother. In the way that Rosalie looked at Renesmee, I could tell that she really loved her. For a second I wondered if this had been what Rosalie had hoped for all along. Had she wanted Bella to die so that she would be able to care for Renesmee? I quickly erased that thought from my mind. Even Rosalie wouldn't want something like that to happen.

Jacob was also staring at Renesmee in great wonder. I could hear what he was thinking and I immediately realized what had happened. Jacob had imprinted on Renesmee. I didn't like the thought of it but I was way too depressed right now to really think about it.

"Jacob." I said. "Come outside with me." He wasn't sure if it would be good to leave Renesmee and he hesitated. "Jacob, _please_!" I said. He then followed me outside.

I walked to a spot where I was sure that the others could not hear us. "Edward, I am so sorry for your loss. I am shocked too but I have to tell you something. I imprinted on…"

"Yeah. I know already. You imprinted on Renesmee. I'm not extremely happy with that but I have decided to just ignore that for a moment. I need to ask you something right now Jacob. Do you remember what you promised me a few weeks ago?" I asked him.

"Yes. I remember. I promised that if Bella died, I would kill you. But…" He said.

"You have to understand that there is no way that I can continue living like this Jacob. Kill me. I can't live in a world where Bella doesn't exist anymore. Please Jacob, this is the last thing you will ever have to do for me."

"Edward, think about Renesmee. Think about how she would suffer if she lost both her mother and her father!" Jacob said.

I honestly hadn't thought about what would happen to Renesmee yet. I loved her so much already and I know that she might bring some happiness in my life but, I still could never imagine a life without Bella.

"My family will take care of her Jacob. I know that they will." I said.

"Well, I still can't kill you." Jacob said. "I'm sorry but I can't. I… I love Renesmee too much to do that. I can't kill her father. I do hate you for what you did to Bella but I love Renesmee and I would never think of killing her father. I'm sorry Edward." Jacob told me.

"Jacob you promised." I replied.

"I know I did. But I just can't do it Edward. Sorry." He said and he walked back inside to see Renesmee.

For the first time in a long time, I sat down. I felt tired and weak, I wanted to die right now and to know that I didn't have to live through another painful moment. What would I do now? I could go to the Volturi again, but I was sure that my family would be able to stop me before I got there this time. For one of the first times in my life, I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I felt so very helpless.

"Edward." Carlisle said. "Come inside. There are some visitors here for you." He said.

As sad as I was, I decided to go inside and see who came over…

**Hey! Thanks for all the great reviews! This chapter isn't very happy either. But it will get better and more exciting soon (: !**

**So yeah, its going to be a little sad in the beginning but the chapters will get better!**

**Please review!!**


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